I'm not the greatest student and when it comes to studying i can be distracted by a million different things before even starting the assignment. Maybe the analogy of ripping off a bandaid works well for me- it takes a long time to build up the courage to even start an essay and then BAM it's done quickly, only leaving a few emotional scars behind.
Ok maybe it's not that bad. But it's not always the best experience for me. Except this essay. I loved it. From the moment i started researching i felt like fog was lifting and my whole view on life was shifting and growing. It was a pretty positive feeling. I submitted the assignment with full confidence of an HD (high distinction) even though throughout my studies this mark has been extrememly rare, like as in almost completely non existent.
And then last week, the results came in. I logged into the system with my heart pumping hard from the excitement.
And then i saw it. my mark was less then glorious. It wasn't even near the HD i expected. Not even close. Infact it was the worst mark i'd gotten all year.
I'm not going to lie and say i didnt have a moment of weakness and cry. And then i got angry. How could my lecturer give me this mark? Couldnt they see the effort i put in?
But as i read the well written comments even in my hurt i could see that i'd missed half the question entirely.
I was completely off the mark.
Has that ever happened to you? Perhaps it wasn't an assignment. Maybe it was in a relationship. You've seen a friend in trouble and you've gone out of your way to help them, only to discover that wasn't what they wanted from you. Maybe they just needed their friend there listening and caring for them.
Maybe theres been other circumstances where you have tried really hard to achieve something, only to discover that you'd missed the point completely.
I'm not saying our effort is in vain. My assignment research taught me lots. The effort you put in for your friend shows that you were trying to help. It's not bad. But how much better would it have been if i'd read the question and answered it? How loved would that friend feel knowing they'd been heard in their struggle?
Some times we get so caught up in our own efforts that we forget the question entirely, the very reason we're in this place to begin with.
This reminds me of Matthew 15. Jesus is approached by some Pharisees and teachers of the law who ask him why his disciples are breaking the law by not abiding to the tradition of making themselves clean before they eat.
Jesus turns it back on them. He questions why they would break God's commands (specifically in this case of honouring their mother and father) for the sake of their tradition? Isn't God's command sovereign over the laws humans have enforced? They had missed the mark. They wanted to serve God but in their efforts to do it right, they had made it complicated and harder for people to follow Him.
Jesus as Messiah offered himself as the perfect sacrifice for us, so that we might be forgiven of our Sin and restored to our Father, God. He gave us His Holy Spirit so that we may be filled with power and authority to serve Him and share His love with the world.
He asks us to love him, and love others. Have we forgotten that message?
It's not bad to have rules to govern a body of people. But lets not get so tied down in the nitty gritty of how we worship God, that we forget to actually worship God. Let's keep our focus on God. Let's lean on His biblical truths and keep Jesus at the centre. Let's be spirit-led, not trying so hard on our own and then missing out on what Jesus came to offer us. In other words, maybe we need to strip back. Maybe i need to look at the traditions i have in life and see if they're pointing towards Christ or if i've gotten so caught up in these rules for myself and the people around me that i've forgotten why they were there in the first place...
And next time, i'll read my assignment question more carefully..
Excellent Sally!
ReplyDelete