The Gust of Wind

"Come, Jesus said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus." Matthew 14:29

Next week, God willing, I will be in Lichinga, Mozambique. I'll be doing a unit there over the next two months as part of my studies at bible college, particularly looking at mission amongst the Yao people. All of this is with the intention in mind to go to live amongst the Yao longer term to be a part of God's continuing work of empowering the local communities to develop their own distinctive ways of following Jesus. And I'm no Peter. Did he hesitate when Jesus called him out onto the water? Not even. Well at least not that's been recorded. In fact, Peter ASKED Jesus to call him out onto the water. 

What faith. 

And then he sees the wind.

For a moment he loses perspective. His eyes turn from Jesus to this wind and he realises the situation he is in... He's walking on water for goodness sake.. He's vulnerable, he's afraid. He doubts. So he starts to sink.

It's a lot of money to fly to Africa. So when I heard that this unit could no longer be funded by the government and I'd have to pay my own way if I wanted to go to Mozambique to do this study, I said I couldn't do it. I scratched the unit off my enrolment form and that was that. And then a few weeks later a dear friend emailed me and told me that with her husband they had been praying and both had felt God had placed me on their hearts (I write this still shocked!) and felt the urge to give me a ridiculously generous amount of money- enough for the trip to Africa! It was a confirmation in so many ways. My response could only be enrol ling back into this unit using this generous donation to pay my fares, trusting that God wanted me to continue to pursue his leading in this direction. 

And then the rest of this year hit, with all it's surprises and struggles and financial strain. And I got to this week and was overwhelmed with the choices I've been making to follow this desire in my heart. Maybe I saw the wind? In the form of my almost empty bank account. Definitely sinking at this point. Although I'm not sure I was ever as confidently walking on water like Peter. So I cried out to God. For a (long) moment I doubted the decisions I'd made to lead me to this point. 

"Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him".

 In my sinking moment I went to the bank that day to deposit the coins I'd had in my piggy bank since I was a little girl.. And there I saw an angel... Well a lady from my church who might as well as been. I didn't tell her what I was doing but we had a lovely chat and at the end she gave me a gift. She told me it was from God and he knew she was meant to be at the bank today at this time... " you of little faith".... And over the next two days I had very similar encounters with incredibly generous and amazing people, all of whom want to support my journey to mission in Africa. "Why did you doubt me?". 

This isn't a rags to riches type story, I'm very aware of how simple my story is, how minor the wind I was looking at is, but yet it still knocked me down, caused me to start sinking. I NEED to be reminded that I can trust God in this journey He is taking me on. That doesn't mean there won't be any more 'gusts of wind' but that's when Jesus reaches out his hand and catches us, and we're closer to Him then before, and our hearts turn to worship.

But to get on this exciting journey of trust and faith, we need to step out of that boat first. What's your response when Jesus calls you out onto the water?

99 Days of Freedom

It sounds like a challenge for a charity. Or a bid to make a change to the lives of those bound in slavery, but no, 99 days of freedom is just an exciting title for what should be a simple challenge- staying off facebook for just over 3 months. It is an experiement set up to determine a persons happiness away from facebook. You can find out more about it here. 

I'm not one to shy away from a challenge, and after having a week feeling pretty convicted to spend less time on my phone, i decided to enter into this little experiement myself and did the unthinkable- logged out of facebook... 

Now this is not the act of a facebook hater. I can see incredible benefits to this site that connects and assists in maintaining relationships. Im already getting frustrated at losing this point of connection with people..

I do ask the question though- how healthy is it to spend a chunk of your day looking at peoples walls to find out their stories for the day- what they ate, where they went, who they caught up with..? I don't know but it almost sounds a little... stalkerish? 

And where do i rest my worth? I could say God but sometimes it feels more like its from the number of likes i get on my profile pic. 

Sorry to bring God into it, but we cant really exclude Him from facebook can we? even though it is just a virtual world, it's also another avenue to give Him the glory. And from what i shared in my last post, isn't that what our lives should be about?

So my challenge in these 99 days of 'freedom' is not to go on some facebook rant and encourage others to quit. Nor is it to unlock some secret to happiness and freedom. Nope, this is a personal choice that shows my weakness, and in this time i want to learn a way to use facebook better. 

Not to post to gain likes or boast about where i've been or what i do.  If my facebook page really is a window into my world then i want it to reflect Christ's love. Which means its got to be less about me and more about Him.  As i learn more about what this looks like i'll be sure to post it . Please feel free to share with me ways you healthily use facebook too! 

Ironically i'd usually post this blog on my facebook for people to read but today i cant, so who knows who will even read this, if anyone!

Peace out! 

Refocus

Have you ever thought like maybe you were on Plan B, or even C, D or E in life?

Maybe things haven't been working out so well, or at least not how you intended your life to play out by this point?

It's hard not to question a tough situation or to point the blame to something or to someone (most often at ourselves!).

But i don't actually think there is a Plan B or C in life when we're followers of Christ.

 Romans 3:22 says We are made right with God by placing our faith in Jesus Christ. And this is true for everyone who believes, no matter who we are.
Jesus by His sacrifice on the cross redeems us (Eph 1-7). This means that we are restored to God! This is big stuff. Our life becomes Christ's when we become followers of Him, and i don't think He works on second bests. If we're made right with God then surely our life isn't operating on Plan B? 

So maybe we need an adjustment in how we focus our lives?

I recently went to the Refocus Conference in Perth, where Ps Rick Holland (from Mission Rd Bible Church, Kansas City) spoke on relationships - specifically between a man and a woman. A clear message that was shared was that, above all, whatever situation we are in, including whether we are single or married- we need to be glorifying God through our lives! 

For many, dreams have been shattered, lives have been turned upside down. 

How can we respond to that? 

By knowing that God has a plan for us- right now. By knowing He is working through our lives. It's all for Him. 

The world will tell us differently, but rest assured, our lives are hid in Him. Our plan b's are still God's plan A. He is sovereign enough to work through any situation. Your life isn't worthless.

My encouragement to myself and to you would be that just because of where you find yourself (maybe at the moment it's surrounded by shattered dreams?) does not mean you are any less in God's sight. It doesn't mean He's given up on you, or is doing something less in you. No, until God calls you home, you are doing an important thing here on Earth- you are being the light of the world. So, refocus your life. Live for Christ in His Plan A.

And if you don't know Christ yet, consider a life where the standard isn't the worlds. A life that knows of a love that abounds in grace, forgiving us of all our transgressions, freeing us from guilt. A relationship that isn't based on works. 

Romans 8:28 “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

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If you would like to hear some of the talks given at the Refocus Conference, click here. You will find some useful discussions on being Godly women or men, how to glorify God through singleness, becoming one flesh, fighting sexual sin, defining biblical love and so much more!

Blessed is me and not you?

I've just finished watching "12 Years A Slave", an incredible true story based on Solomon Northup's memoir, detailing his kidnapping in 1841. Solomon was sold into slavery and was made to work on plantations for the next twelve years. This film provides a glimpse at the disturbing reality too many individuals faced in this pre-civil war era.

An immediate response to watching this less than comfortable film could be to thank God for blessing me with what i have- that i live in this time and in this country. 
But i stop myself here, because i don't know if that's right. Because to say i am blessed by God for the good things in my life, is to assume that those like Solomon weren't blessed because of the bad situations they were in. That for some reason God chose not to bless him, and instead chose to bless me. That just doesn't make sense to me. 

It's to say that the luxuries i have in this world are through the means of a God who, hold on a sec, isn't materialistic? Who tells us not to store up for ourselves things on earth where rust and moth destroy? 
It just doesn't make sense. Just because i was born in a different time, a different nationality and in a different country- does NOT mean God has chosen to bless me above anyone else. I don't think blessed necessarily equals a comfortable life. 
When i turn to scripture to get a sense of context for the term blessing i read:

"Now when Jesus saw the crowds, he went up on a mountainside and sat down. His disciples came to him, 2 and he began to teach them.

The Beatitudes

He said:

3 “Blessed are the poor in spirit,
    for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
4 Blessed are those who mourn,
    for they will be comforted.
5 Blessed are the meek,
    for they will inherit the earth.
6 Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
    for they will be filled.
7 Blessed are the merciful,
    for they will be shown mercy.
8 Blessed are the pure in heart,
    for they will see God.
9 Blessed are the peacemakers,
    for they will be called children of God.
10 Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
    for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

11 “Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. 12 Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you."

What!! I'm blessed when people persecute me?  

To me, i wonder if maybe i need to refigure what blessing looks like- what this means. But i'm beginning to get the impression it has less to do with the situation we find ourselves in and more to do with the hope we have in Christ Jesus. Perhaps being blessed is independent of our circumstances?

And what that blessing looks like- well maybe its in Heaven that we'll know? That is where the reward will be...

But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord,
whose confidence is in him.
They will be like a tree planted by the water
that sends out its roots by the stream.
It does not fear when heat comes;
its leaves are always green.
It has no worries in a year of drought
and never fails to bear fruit.- Jeremiah 17:7-8

So after all this i still don't really know how to come to terms with this word blessing. But i do have a conviction that it is God who blesses us- and our worldly view of what this looks like cannot compare to the reward He has for us in the kingdom of Heaven. 

Maybe blessings can look material- but these are temporary gains and fail in comparison to God's blessing in Heaven. Which doesn't mean we can't find joy in those blessings now?...

sigh- i've still got a lot to learn. 

I am very grateful and thankful for where God has placed me. I am blessed by the saving grace of Jesus Christ and my restoration to Him.