Next week, God willing, I will be in Lichinga, Mozambique. I'll be doing a unit there over the next two months as part of my studies at bible college, particularly looking at mission amongst the Yao people. All of this is with the intention in mind to go to live amongst the Yao longer term to be a part of God's continuing work of empowering the local communities to develop their own distinctive ways of following Jesus. And I'm no Peter. Did he hesitate when Jesus called him out onto the water? Not even. Well at least not that's been recorded. In fact, Peter ASKED Jesus to call him out onto the water.
What faith.
And then he sees the wind.
For a moment he loses perspective. His eyes turn from Jesus to this wind and he realises the situation he is in... He's walking on water for goodness sake.. He's vulnerable, he's afraid. He doubts. So he starts to sink.
It's a lot of money to fly to Africa. So when I heard that this unit could no longer be funded by the government and I'd have to pay my own way if I wanted to go to Mozambique to do this study, I said I couldn't do it. I scratched the unit off my enrolment form and that was that. And then a few weeks later a dear friend emailed me and told me that with her husband they had been praying and both had felt God had placed me on their hearts (I write this still shocked!) and felt the urge to give me a ridiculously generous amount of money- enough for the trip to Africa! It was a confirmation in so many ways. My response could only be enrol ling back into this unit using this generous donation to pay my fares, trusting that God wanted me to continue to pursue his leading in this direction.
And then the rest of this year hit, with all it's surprises and struggles and financial strain. And I got to this week and was overwhelmed with the choices I've been making to follow this desire in my heart. Maybe I saw the wind? In the form of my almost empty bank account. Definitely sinking at this point. Although I'm not sure I was ever as confidently walking on water like Peter. So I cried out to God. For a (long) moment I doubted the decisions I'd made to lead me to this point.
"Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him".
In my sinking moment I went to the bank that day to deposit the coins I'd had in my piggy bank since I was a little girl.. And there I saw an angel... Well a lady from my church who might as well as been. I didn't tell her what I was doing but we had a lovely chat and at the end she gave me a gift. She told me it was from God and he knew she was meant to be at the bank today at this time... " you of little faith".... And over the next two days I had very similar encounters with incredibly generous and amazing people, all of whom want to support my journey to mission in Africa. "Why did you doubt me?".
This isn't a rags to riches type story, I'm very aware of how simple my story is, how minor the wind I was looking at is, but yet it still knocked me down, caused me to start sinking. I NEED to be reminded that I can trust God in this journey He is taking me on. That doesn't mean there won't be any more 'gusts of wind' but that's when Jesus reaches out his hand and catches us, and we're closer to Him then before, and our hearts turn to worship.
But to get on this exciting journey of trust and faith, we need to step out of that boat first. What's your response when Jesus calls you out onto the water?
